Reverie
by TheSeer
Summary: Sakura always knew Naruto was an idiot. She always knew he'd never catch up to Sasuke. But here she is, like always, trailing behind both of them. Memory Cycle, no. 2


Author's Note: This is the second in the Memory Cycle, a five-part series that begins with "Recall." It will be continued in "Rebirth," which is still forthcoming. Much of the dialogue during the flashbacks in this story is taken directly from the anime, or based on the anime dialogue.

--

Present 

"Naruto, you idiot."

It was something Sakura had said a thousand times before. She'd said it just about every day team seven had worked together, really, in tones ranging from moderate exasperation to towering rage. Now it was her mantra, as she trudged through the mud, barely faster than an ordinary walking pace.

"Naruto, you idiot."

Ninjas in the fire country almost always moved through the trees. It was faster, less tiring, and almost always left less of a trail. But somehow - somehow! - Naruto seemed to have figured out that at night, in a rainstorm, if the person tracking him was relying more on scent and instinct than finding footprints, it was better to run on the ground. His scent had been washed out so badly that Kiba and his dog Akamaru had given up in frustration, leaving Neji to look for visual clues with his Byakugan. The Hyuuga cadet hadn't trained in tracking much, but he was their best bet in this situation. To make matters worse, Naruto apparently had a way to run over mud he should have sunk up to his ankles in without leaving so much as a smear. So they were moving on the ground - the wet, muddy, cold, miserable ground - at a snail's pace, so Neji could spot the faint hints of Naruto's passage.

"Naruto, you idiot."

Of course, Naruto had picked the worst possible time to run off. All the usual tracking teams had been off chasing. . . chasing someone else, so Hokage-sama had assigned the most lazy chuunin in the village to dragoon Sakura onto a team of "exceptional" genins - exceptional for their arrogance, appetite, and wet-dog-stink, respectively. Of course, Naruto had left for the same reason the tracking teams were busy, but Sakura wasn't thinking about that. That was what the mantra was for.

"Naruto, you idiot."

He hadn't even gone the right way. All the reasonable directions for him to take had already been taken, by better, more competent ninjas than him. But rather than admit that someone else might know better than the "future Hokage," he'd gone off in some random-ass direction, by himself. There was no reason for. . . anyone. . . to come this way. There was _nothing_ out here! Nothing! But here Naruto had come, and here Sakura had to follow him.

"Naruto you idiot."

She was hungry, since they were traveling light and hadn't brought much food (except for Chouji, who wouldn't share.) She was tired, since they'd been moving for four days with only a couple hours of sleep each night. She was frustrated, since Neji and Shikamaru kept insisting they were steadily _losing _ground, and there was nothing she could do about it. She was wet to the knees, since they had just spent fifteen minutes wading up some stream Naruto had used to throw off pursuit. Her hair was filthy. Her feet were cold. And if Chouji finished a snack with an ode to the last potato chip _one more time. . ._

"Naruto, you - oh! Wait, stop!"

The team stopped. Neji looked around, and nodded, with a tightening of his lips that meant he was frustrated at making a mistake. (That was an expression Sakura had become very familiar with over the last few days.) Shikamaru looked around for a few seconds, and then said, "I see it."

"See what?" Kiba asked. Chouji stared around suspiciously.

"Naruto made shadow clones here," Sakura explained. "It's hard to spot, because it doesn't look like a trail. It fills your field of view, so there's no one place that stands out. But I've seen him do it so many times. . ."

"I think I see it now," Kiba said. "But why would he use shadow clones here? It's a combat technique."

Shikamaru grinned. "He did it. Naruto caught him."

"What!" Sakura yelled. Everyone else just looked at Shikamaru, surprised. "S-Sasuke didn't come this way, Shikamaru," Sakura continued. "He went northeast, toward Hidden Sound. The ANBU teams have probably caught him already."

"We didn't see his trail, either," Chouji added.

"Sakura, is Naruto good at things like hiding his trail?" Shikamaru asked.

"I - I would have said no, but. . ."

"How about Sasuke?"

"Better. Much better."

"So if we've found almost no trail from Naruto, we wouldn't see anything at all from Sasuke. Also, Sakura, I picked you for this mission because you're an expert on Naruto. But you've been no help at all until just now." Sakura should have been insulted, but she was too worn out from being angry at Naruto. "Naruto _is_ predictable," Shikamaru went on. "So logically, the problem must be that it wasn't Naruto that picked the path we've been following, but someone _he_ was chasing. And besides, I've been thinking about what I would have done if I'd been ordered to catch Sasuke instead of Naruto. I wouldn't have done much different - except I wouldn't have taken you as a Naruto expert. I would have taken Naruto, as a Sasuke expert."

"So you think Naruto was right, and all the ANBU were wrong?" Neji asked neutrally.

Shikamaru shrugged. "My dad says the ANBU haven't been performing as well since they lost Hatake Kakashi. I've been pretty sure for days now, and this confirms it. Sasuke's ahead of us somewhere. If we can, we're going to bring them both back."

Sakura closed her eyes, and whispered, "Naruto, you idiot. You promised."

--

_Past_

The Ichiraku ramen stand smelled like Naruto. Or rather, Sakura supposed, vice versa. At any rate, they went well together. The ramen was actually pretty good, too, though she'd only had a couple of bites. And Naruto wasn't even acting normally. He hadn't been nearly as loud or stupid or annoying this evening. If he'd acted like this all the time, she might have actually agreed to go out with him before now. If this had been any other night, she might have actually enjoyed this "date."

"Sasuke-kun. . .told me not to tell you. It's all Orochimaru's fault." She started to explain about the curse, how Sasuke had slaughtered helpless, defeated opponents with some alien chakra. She explained about Orochimaru's dark offer, to give Sasuke the power he wanted if he would only come. She kept expecting Naruto to interrupt her, but he didn't say a word. It threw her off balance, and she stuttered and looked at him. His eyes were filled with things she didn't expect from him - sympathy, recognition, fear. It shocked her, and reminded her of being shocked at a different pair of eyes. She looked back down at her ramen.

"Kakashi-sensei said that he'd be fine, and I want to believe that, but when he fought Gaara it. . . again. . ." Naruto whispered something under his breath, that Sakura must have heard wrong. It had sounded like, _all three of us._ "Earlier when he fought you, Sasuke-kun had that same face again. That's why I. . ." She trailed off, and waited. What did she even want from him? Did she want him to laugh, be loud and annoying, prove that everything was normal and everything would be fine? He didn't.

"Orochimaru, huh?" Naruto said flatly. "I met him the other day."

What? "Where?"

"While searching for old lady Tsunade. He was up against the perverted hermit and the old lady. He's very strong, and very dangerous." Naruto didn't talk this way, dammit! He didn't talk as if there was anyone who could get between him and what he wanted, he didn't talk like he was afraid, even when they could and he was.

If there was one thing Naruto had that Sasuke didn't, it was his insane bravery. If Orochimaru had Naruto cowed. . . "That. . ."

_Now_ he changed back to normal. Far, far too late, Naruto became fearless and annoying again. "Don't worry about it!" He started shoveling down ramen, as if eager to play his part correctly. "Sasuke wouldn't accept that bastard's invitation. He doesn't need to do that, since he's really strong." He winked at her, exuding that stupid confidence of his. _I know it, of course I know it, I'm me, aren't I?_ When things were normal, it had made Sakura angry. Now it made her sick. "I guarantee it."

She knew he was wrong. It echoed in her head: _he's wrong he's wrong he's wrong he's wrong he's wrong. . . _ But it was normal, what he was saying, it was easier, it was safer. Sakura swallowed her nausea, and smiled. "Yeah."

--

_Present_

"Sasuke definitely made his stand here," Shikamaru was saying. They'd both stopped worrying about tracks here, and all five ninjas could see the signs of the battle. "Naruto's clones came at him from all sides. Then. . . I don't see where he went."

"Up there." Sakura pointed up the tree trunk, where there were gashes in the bark and scuffed-off pieces of moss. "Kakashi-sensei taught us all a tree-climbing technique." She gathered chakra in her feet, and walked up the trunk herself. She'd done well on tracking in the academy; all she needed was the ability to see the trail. "Naruto had some clones up here, he must have been planning an attack from above, but Sasuke saw it coming. He defeated the clones, and jumped off." She copied the jump, and landed lightly several yards away.

"There are shuriken in the mud, here, and footprints from a quick fight. Then Sasuke ran off this way." She jogged along the trail. It was like a puzzle, tracking the fight, an abstract exercise, like an academy test. There was no emotion in it. "I think Naruto was out of clones."

"And he couldn't have made more," Neji said. "There's no way to tell a shadow clone from the real thing once it's made, but the Sharingan would track where the real one went if he made more while Sasuke was watching."

"You're right, I've seen him do that," Sakura agreed. "Sasuke chased Naruto to this tree. Then. . ." At the base of that tree the trail turned into a hopeless muddle. "I can't read that."

Kiba squatted down beside the spot, sniffing. "I can actually smell them here." Akamaru joined him, and they sniffed the whole area in strange unison. "They must have been here for a while, for the scent to stay through all that rain. Too long. Like half an hour." Too long for wrestling. Too long even for arguing; Sasuke had always won their arguments quickly. Negotiating? Talking? "I think Sasuke was on top," Kiba went on, "and he had Naruto pinned down." A slow, drawn-out murder?

"Was anyone. . .hurt?" Sakura asked.

"I don't smell blood. There's fear, though. And then. . . they left together, to the southeast. Back towards home." He looked up at Shikamaru, and they grinned at each other. They were both Naruto's friends, Sakura remembered, as much as he had friends. "He did it!" Kiba said. "The little freak pulled it off!"

Naruto had lost the fight, he'd been pinned down and helpless, but then Sasuke had let him up and went with him back toward Konoha. "No, he couldn't have," Sakura said. Under her breath, she added, "I couldn't."

--

_Past_

"What are you doing, wandering this road at night?"

It was because she was sick, because she was scared, because she was in love. Because she couldn't trust Naruto, couldn't trust Kakashi, couldn't trust Sasuke. "Because in order to get out of the village, you have to take this road."

They stared at each other for a moment. "Go home and sleep," Sasuke said, and walked past her.

"Why isn't it enough?" Sakura cried. Sasuke stopped. "I know you think you need to be an avenger, but you need _someone_ to help you. Why aren't. . .we good enough?" Why aren't _I_ good enough?

"Hn. Don't concern yourself with what I do."

"I know you're afraid!" This made him stop again, and turn partway around. His eyes were dangerous, but she kept talking anyway. "I've seen your eyes when you're fighting that curse. You're afraid of it, and you hate it. You hate how it controls you." He still wasn't moving. Suddenly hopeful, Sakura said, "I can help you, Sasuke. If you want to be strong. . . I think together we can be strong enough to hold it back. I think I can save you, Sasuke. Just stay with me. Please." There was silence, and a transcendent moment of hope as she waited for his black eyes to soften. Then, in the instant she knew she'd failed, "Why can't that be good enough?"

"It's not a matter of enough," Sasuke said coldly. "You can't help me at all. All you can do is hurt me, divide me, keep me weak and afraid. I have a job to do, and I can't do it if I'm fighting myself, half human and half monster. And as long as I have this curse, I can't be human." No, Sakura thought helplessly. Wait. Don't. "You're useless, Sakura."

No hope left, just keep talking because there's nothing to lose. "You've always hated me, huh? Do you remember, the day we became genin and our three-person team was first chosen?" Despair is a very strange thing, Sakura found. When you've already lost, there's no fear left. All you do is smile, and mourn, and wonder if he'll at least think of you as he walks into the night. "I said I hated Naruto, and Naruto said he hated you. And you looked at me, and you didn't even have to say it." She looked away from him. "I used to look at Naruto and think, 'why can't we just ditch him somewhere?' And then I'd keep chasing after you. I'm not stupid, Sasuke, I saw the parallels. I just didn't want to admit it.

"I understand Naruto so well now. There's a point where you just have to keep saying it, no matter what, because there's nothing else to say. I. . . I love you so much. And, you know, I think Naruto and I, we were so loud and obnoxious about who we hated, but I think we were lying. You didn't say anything, but it was the truth. Wasn't it."

Sasuke didn't deny it. He didn't say anything. He shifted his weight, about to walk away. Suddenly Sakura's face froze in wild panic, and her eyes snapped up to meet his, and they said _I could scream._ Sasuke centered his weight, and his dark eyes narrowed, and they answered, _I could kill you. _Sakura fell to her knees and wept.

--

_Present_

"Why not?"

Sakura blinked. "What?"

"You said 'He couldn't have.' Why not?" Shikamaru repeated himself, looking annoyed.

"Uh. . ." _Because I couldn't_ wasn't actually a good answer. "Wouldn't we have passed them coming back?"

"We didn't take a straight-line path to get here," the chuunin pointed out. "But probably." He sighed. "Something might have happened on the way there. Or we've missed something."

"It's obvious, though, right?" Chouji asked. They all stared at him. "They needed to eat! And sleep. They'd been running for two days."

Neji's mouth tightened. "Right, right," Shikamaru said. "_I_ need sleep too, apparently." They'd all had eight hours of sleep - eight hours total, that was, since leaving the village four days ago.

"The only shelter they knew about was someplace they'd passed on the way," Chouji went on. "So they backtracked to it. We won't know where they're really going until we see where they go from there."

"So either Naruto talked Sasuke into coming back, or Sasuke captured Naruto," Kiba said. "Wait. Why would Sasuke capture Naruto, again?"

"I heard some missing-nin group tried to capture Naruto a few weeks ago," Neji said. "Maybe he's worth something to someone."

Shikamaru winced. "Man. Is Sasuke that cold?" Sakura hesitated and looked away. The chuunin sighed. "How troublesome. Well, we can all see this trail. Let's run."

It only took a couple minutes to find the laurel thicket. Neji crawled inside. "They definitely slept here," he called out. "Under the same blanket, right up against each other." That was standard, for sleeping rough in horrible conditions, Sakura reminded herself. It wasn't what it sounded like. Neji crawled back out of the bush. "They wouldn't have done that if Sasuke had been keeping Naruto prisoner. You don't sleep that close to an enemy."

"I hope even Naruto wouldn't be stupid enough to do it, either, if he was in control," Shikamaru said. "What if Sasuke changed his mind?"

"And when they left, they went _that_ way," Kiba growled, "the way Sasuke was originally going. Not back to Hidden Leaf village."

"That way doesn't go to Hidden Sound village, either!" Sakura shouted, frustrated. "In that direction there are exactly three rabbits and a mud puddle, and then you hit the coast!"

Shikamaru looked up at the overcast sky. "What did they have for supplies, does anyone know?"

"I saw them each leave," Sakura said. "They've got Sasuke's backpack, their weapon pouches, and whatever was in their pockets."

Shikamaru nodded. "They're going to have to find a town, soon, then, or else do some serious foraging. I think we can catch up." Sakura doubted that. They only had a day's worth of rations themselves, and they were _two_ days behind. "You can follow them now, Kiba?"

"Yeah, probably, they left after the rain stopped. Through the trees."

"Thank God," Sakura said.

"Let's go," Shikamaru said. "Kiba in front, then me, Sakura, and Chouji. Neji's rear guard." With a blur, they leapt into the trees and were gone.

-

_Past_

She sobbed for three breaths and then looked up, staring at the space where he'd been. She saw something. She'd been sure he was already gone, but she saw a blur moving down the road away from her. It slowed, turned into - Sakura. Sakura watched this person with her shape, running awkwardly now down the road. Calling out with her voice - "Sasuke, wait. . ."

Sasuke didn't wait. Sakura couldn't see him, but he must have reacted instantly to the voice, because his kunai came out of nowhere and interrupted not-Sakura on the second word. The doppleganger dodged, but she was startled, she wasn't fast enough. Blood spattered the dust of the road.

"Fuck!" Not-Sakura transformed back, becoming a bird-masked ANBU. She checked the wound in her arm, then looked back up at the trees and road. "Fuck!" she shouted again. She was still female, but her voice was an adult's hoarse alto. She looked back at Sakura. "What did you say to him?" _I could scream. I could kill you._ The kunai had come so fast.

When Sakura didn't answer, the ANBU lifted her hands to her mouth and hooted like an owl. In seconds, several more ANBU blurred onto the road around her, black robes and white masks in the night. They conversed for a moment, and then blurred away again. Sakura, left behind, started crying again.

"Get up." She jumped, twisted around. An ANBU was standing behind her, a huge man in a mouse mask. "Hokage-sama will want your report." His tone was businesslike, and Sakura was grateful. Either kindness or cruelty would have broken her at this point. She got up, and followed him.

She walked into the Hokage's office. Tsunade-sama took one look at her and said, "Sasuke?" Sakura nodded. "Get Hatake Kakashi," she said to the ANBU. The mouse nodded and bowed himself out. "Did he injure you?"

"He - he tried." The Fifth's eyes widened. Oh, Sakura realized, she must think Sakura meant she'd fought Sasuke off. Sakura wouldn't have had a prayer of that. "I mean, there was an ANBU. She transformed into me, and called to him. The kunai came so fast." Tears fell on the Hokage's rug.

"Sit down," Tsunade ordered. "Tell me the whole thing, from the start. As much as you can remember." Sakura sat, and tried to tell the story. It wouldn't come out in a straight line, and she kept having to stop to cry. She was just coming back to the kunai when she looked up and saw Lee in the doorway, clutching the frame to stay upright.

"Sakura-san," he said.

"How long - what are you doing here?"

"Lee's operation was last night," Tsunade said gently.

"Oh!" She'd forgotten. "So it went well?" she asked, ashamed. If it had gone badly, Lee would be dead. She couldn't be happy, though, for him or anyone else.

"Sakura-san," Lee said again. He staggered into the room. Tsunade stood, worried, but he made it to Sakura's chair without falling. "I'm sorry," he said. Sakura couldn't answer. Lee sat down at her feet and watched her cry. The Hokage busied herself writing orders.

-- Present 

"Should we stop for the night?" Kiba asked. The sun was down, and twilight was fading quickly under the thick canopy.

"No," Sakura and Shikamaru said together. "We have an advantage," Shikamaru went on, "they probably don't realize they're being pursued. We can make up a lot of time if they stop for the night and we don't."

"We're going to catch them," Sakura said quietly. Nobody said anything about running all night, though they were badly short on sleep already.

"Feeling better, Sakura?" Kiba asked.

"I'm fine," she snapped. "Keep tracking."

"Geez, just trying to be nice," he griped.

"We're catching up," Sakura said. "We have to be."

"Hold it!" Neji said. "I see their campsite ahead." Sakura smiled grimly. She was done crying. The next time she saw Sasuke, she was going to kick his ass.

Shikamaru held up a hand, stopping them in sight of the clearing. "It's too soon," he said. "Kiba, how far behind are we?"

Kiba sniffed at the tree branch he was standing on. "Two days and four hours, about." Akamaru barked. "A little bit less, maybe.

"So why did they make camp at two or three in the afternoon?" Shikamaru frowned. "How troublesome. Sakura, Kiba, with me. Neji, Chouji, stay in the trees." He jumped down to the edge of the clearing, and Sakura and Kiba followed as ordered. "Is it right?"

Kiba and Akamaru sniffed around. "It's weird. The smells are all too strong or too faint." Akamaru dug up the spot where they'd buried the ashes from a campfire. The puppy barked. Kiba crouched down and sniffed the ashes. "Wait a minute, why would they - they carried them! They carried the ashes here, the whole thing's fake -"

"Ambush!" Neji called. They all turned, and saw Naruto taking a handful of Neji's shuriken on his hastily raised forearm. Naruto's blood spurted, he growled - and vanished in a puff of smoke.

"Hold!" Shikamaru yelled. The rest of the team froze, weapons drawn, and in the sudden silence they heard a voice through the trees.

"Dammit! What'd he do that for?"

"I told you you'd need two clones, dumbass."

"Shut up, bastard, how was I supposed to know Neji could see out the back of his head?"

"You fought him. Any ninja with a brain picks these things up pretty fast. I'm surprised you won."

"Well, fine, maybe I forgot. We can't all have your freaky-eye memory. . ." Sakura was mesmerized by the bizarre mundanity of it. She'd heard them fight like this a thousand times. There was no hint of enmity here, or a captor and captive. There was no memory of betrayal, abandonment, desperate chases through the night and the rain. There was no admission of guilt or pain or Sakura's tears.

They had been approaching as they bickered, and now Naruto looked at Sakura and trailed off, as if just noticing her. "Hi, Sakura-chan!" He grinned sheepishly and rubbed his neck. "I kept my promise. But we're not coming back."

-- Past 

Sakura didn't know how long they sat like that, her and Lee and Tsunade, but eventually the Hokage looked up and said, "You're late."

She was talking to Kakashi-sensei, standing in the door. "Sorry. Someone stapled my sheets together while I was asleep, and I couldn't get out of bed." His visible eye winked at Sakura.

"Liar," she whispered, smiling a bit.

"Uchiha Sasuke left the village last night, presumably to defect to Hidden Sound," the Fifth said.

"You want me to go after him?" Kakashi asked languidly.

"No. Because of Sasuke's seal, recovering him is an S-rank mission, restricted to ANBU only."

"They won't catch him, you know."

"Oh?" Tsunade asked archly. "Do you have ideas about how the ANBU should operate, Hatake-kun?" They looked at each other for a moment. Sakura remembered the rumor, that Kakashi had once been a high-ranking member of ANBU, and now that he had quit they were much weaker.

Kakashi shrugged. "Very well, then," Tsunade sighed. "I suspect that Orochimaru has ninjas around the village, hoping to make contact with Sasuke if he left. Take three jounins and neutralize them."

Kakashi bowed. "Yes, Hokage-sama." He looked at Sakura. "Someone needs to wait at the bridge and tell Naruto there's no training today." He touched her shoulder once, and left.

"Why did you do that?" Sakura asked Tsunade. "Kakashi would be better than anyone at finding Sasuke."

Tsunade paused before answering. "If he'd put on the mask, it would mean he was able to do whatever was necessary. Since Sasuke was his student, I had to know." Sakura looked away. If there was some necessary thing to do to get Sasuke back, she hadn't been able to do it either.

"Sakura-san, the sun's coming up," Lee said. "Should I walk you down to meet your teammate?" He looked very stiff and formal and chivalrous, and he couldn't even stand up.

"We won't need to be there for an hour," Sakura said, and then realized it might take Lee that long to get there. "Um, well," she said awkwardly, "maybe I should go early today." She helped Lee climb slowly to his feet.

"Careful," Tsunade said. "You shouldn't be out of bed today, Lee. You shouldn't even be _able_ to get out of bed." Lee paused, embarrassed. "Oh, go ahead," she sighed. "You'll probably recover in record time. It would fit."

Lee was even slower than she'd thought, over long stretches. The walk was very long, and the sun was coming up, and it was nice to be with someone who she was sure wasn't going anywhere. When they finally got to the bridge, Naruto was waiting, sitting on the railing and looking bored.

"Good morning, Sakura-chan!" he called out. "Sasuke's late, the bastard. Probably decided he was too good to wait for Kakashi with the rest of us." He noticed Lee, with his arm around her shoulder, and frowned. "What's Fuzzy-Eyebrows doing here?"

They made their slow way onto the bridge, and Sakura hesitated. Lee spoke up for her. "Maybe you should sit somewhere safer for this, Naruto."

"Huh?" He looked at Sakura, and she nodded. He got down onto the deck of the bridge and sat cross-legged, looking confused. "What's wrong with your eyes, Sakura-chan? They're all red. Allergies?"

"Naruto. . ." Sakura began. He looked up at her, cheerful and stupid. "Naruto, Sasuke left last night. To go to Orochimaru."

"No," he said. He stood up, smiling desperately. "No, you're wrong. It's a mistake, Sakura, there's some other reason. . ."

"I saw him go. He admitted it."

There was a pause. "That bastard. He - after all that - I promised! That _bastard!_" He turned suddenly and punched the railing. It snapped, and splinters fell into the water and washed downstream. Lee looked jealous. "Where's Hidden Sound?"

"North by northeast," Sakura answered without thinking, and then, "Naruto, you can't follow him! It's an S-rank mission, restricted to ANBU. And Hokage-sama thinks that there's Sound ninjas outside the village. Sensei's out looking for them right now." Caught by some irrational fear, she lied, "Hokage-sama told me to tell you absolutely not to go."

"Why would I want to follow that bastard traitor?" Naruto said a beat too late. "Someone else will catch him, and I can kick his ass when they drag him back into town." He turned north-northeast, to his left, and folded his arms. "Which way did they go?" he asked.

"What, the ANBU?" Sakura said. "They would've gone that way, wouldn't they? The way he was going." She pointed forward, over Naruto's shoulder.

"That way, too," Lee said, pointing in the opposite direction. "It's standard ANBU procedure, in case he doubles back."

Another beat - clearly, Naruto hadn't thought of that. "Ah. Pretty smart." He turned left again, looking across the bridge and into the trees. "I'm - gonna go take a walk." He didn't want to cry in front of her. That made sense, she didn't want to cry in front of him, either. She was getting tired of crying, in public or otherwise. Naruto walked away, straight into the woods where no one could see. After a bit, he started jogging.

Now Sakura could cry, just a little bit more. Lee let go of her hand and hugged her. She was supporting more than half his weight, but he wasn't going anywhere. He was very, very here.

Eventually Lee froze, and stepped back and looked at her, hands on her shoulders. "Sakura-san, where did Naruto go?"

She shrugged. "Off to beat up some trees, or something. He's probably just wandering around."

"Sakura-san, he went in a straight line."

Now she froze. "He did. And his head was up, as if he had somewhere specific to go. But - but - " She looked around. "But Sasuke didn't _go_ that way!" She closed her eyes. "Not you, too. Naruto, you idiot." She shook herself. "I need to go tell someone, tell Hokage-sama -"

"Go," Lee said. "I'll be fine." She helped him sit down, and then ran back into town.

--

_Present_

"We're not coming back."

"Naruto," Shikamaru said, sounding tired. "We've been ordered to _bring_ you back."

"We figured," Naruto said agreeably. "That's why we're not really here. We don't want a fight."

"Sasuke's a clone," Neji confirmed. "But that's Naruto."

"No, it's another shadow clone. You can't tell, remember?"

"You should have used a regular one if you wanted a parley," Neji growled. "I'd have trusted it more." Normal clones were much weaker than the ninja who made them, unperceptive and slow to react. Shadow clones fought exactly like the original until they took a solid hit.

"He can't make one," Sakura said, and Shikamaru, Chouji, and Sasuke, who'd all been in Naruto's academy class, nodded. Naruto was smirking at Sasuke, for some reason.

"So, anyway," Naruto said, "Sasuke's not joining Orochimaru, but he won't come back to Hidden Leaf, either, and if I'm not there he'll do something stupid like get himself turned into an evil snake-monster so he can kill Itachi."

"What do you mean, you're not coming back?" Sakura demanded. "What are you going to do, live in the woods?"

"Basically," Sasuke said. "Train, observe, come up with a plan. A survivable plan," he amended, at Naruto's pointed look.

"Why can't you do that from home? This is stupid!"

"No, Sakura-chan, it - it actually makes sense." Naruto sat down in the leaves and looked at her glumly. "If we're going to do this - which we are," he added when Sasuke glared at him, "we're going to have to use things that - that we can't really practice at the village."

"The curse," Sakura said. "You're talking about the curse!" Shikamaru and the team tensed - Sakura had told them about it on the way. They were looking at Sasuke like he was about to suddenly go berserk. "There's no way to control it, Sasuke!"

"I thought so, too," Sasuke said. "I was just going to get close and let it go, and to hell with what happened afterward. But I've. . . recently found out something that makes me think it might be possible to release the curse part way, and mostly keep control."

"We're going to practice, very carefully, one at a time," Naruto said. "We'll try to come up with other ideas, too, but I think this is the only way we're going to get enough power."

Shikamaru studied him. "Naruto, you're talking like you've got one of these curse things, too."

Naruto looked down at his hands. "Well, yeah," he admitted. "Something like it, anyway."

"How troublesome. When did that happen?"

Naruto rubbed his cheek absently. "A long time ago, actually."

Sakura looked at Sasuke, watching them impassively. "You knew about this?"

"Not when I left," Sasuke answered. "A good thing, too, or I'd have released the curse when he caught me."

"So instead of Sasuke turning into a soulless monster so he can kill Itachi," Sakura growled, "you're _both_ going to turn into soulless monsters so you can kill him _together_? Naruto, you _idiot!_"

Naruto blinked. "Heh. It does sound kinda stupid, when you say it that way. . ."

"This is why I left." They looked at Sasuke. "This is why my job can't be done from Konoha. A ninja village - any group of ordinary people - can decide something is too hard, isn't worth the risk, and give up. _I can't._" He stepped forward, looming over Sakura. "He was the best of us, Sakura. The best Uchiha in the entire history of the clan. A few weeks ago he fought three of our top jounin and won. Easily. Only Kakashi had even a prayer. Later, he was caught by surprise by Konoha's best living fighter and escaped without a scratch. The only human being in the world who might be able to take him one-on-one is Orochimaru. So someone who wants to kill him needs Orochimaru's power."

"Or," Naruto whispered, "to not be a human being."

Sasuke grabbed her collar, pulled her to tiptoes. She squeaked. "By any rational standard," he growled, "by any _human_ standard, this is impossible, but I have to try. If I do it Naruto's way, there's a small chance we'll both walk away alive and sane." Neji and Kiba stepped forward menacingly, and he let her go with a sneer.

"Plan A," Naruto said, "was to kill me, kill you five, _then_ kill Itachi, and spend the rest of his life as the snake-bastard's personal freaky-eyed killing machine. I like Plan B."

"There've been worse compromises," Neji muttered.

"Why you, Naruto?" Kiba asked. "You're no vengeance freak."

"Well, no." He shrugged. "My important people are still alive." He was sitting and looking up at her, as he had on the bridge, cheerful and stupid and brave.

"And you'd like to keep him that way, is that it?" Sakura asked. "What about us?" She would never say _what about me?_ to Naruto. She didn't think about him that way. But that's what he heard anyway.

"You?" He chuckled. "You're safe, Sakura! Safe and happy and pretty - you don't need me." She'd told him that herself, thought it of him all the time - _we don't need you, you idiot._ "The village doesn't need me, either - or doesn't want me, maybe."

"Hey!" Kiba barked. "Not everybody's an asshole, Naruto."

"You shouldn't pay attention to troublesome people," Shikamaru agreed.

"It's not really about that, guys," Naruto said. "I could have lived in the village, it would have been okay. But I never would have fit in. It's too. . ." He stopped, trying to think of a word.

"Human," Sasuke supplied.

Naruto nodded. "That's creepy, but right. We're kinda not human. He's an avenger, or whatever, and I'm. . . what I am." He swallowed. "Maybe when we come back, it'll be different." She looked at him, startled, and he grinned. _We'll come back, of course we'll come back, I'm me, aren't I?_

"So what are the terms?" Shikamaru asked. Chouji grunted, only slightly surprised, and Neji nodded.

"You go home, we don't," Sasuke said. "We don't harm the village, the village doesn't hunt us."

"Wait," Sakura said, "you're going to just let them go? What about our orders?"

Shikamaru put his hands in his pockets. "Sasuke was right, when he said a ninja village can decide to give up if something is too dangerous." He wasn't sure they could take Naruto and Sasuke together, that meant. Sasuke smirked. "Anyway, we still haven't caught them. The real ones could be getting further away right now. There's no threat to the village. It's not worth the trouble."

"There's nothing I can do," Sakura said. It wasn't a question, it was old and bitter knowledge rediscovered.

Naruto looked up. "You could come with us," he offered impulsively. Sakura stared at him.

"Hn. It's amazing," Sasuke said, "what happens to people's faces when you make them that offer." She turned to him, expecting him to contradict Naruto, tell her again she was useless. "She could do it, I suppose," he said, "now that she knows what she's getting into. She's always been stronger than she thought."

"You're serious," she said, shocked. "Go with you. . ." She turned to the team.

"Don't look at me," Shikamaru said. "I have to make too many decisions already." He was the chuunin, their captain, he could have killed the idea with a word.

"It's not your fate," Neji said. "But it's not Naruto's, either. When he's around. . . maybe you can beat fate." He shrugged.

"Go for it," Kiba grinned. "Someone has to bring these two idiots back in one piece."

"Don't," Chouji said. "They're both going to starve to death this winter, anyway."

"Go with you. . ."

--

_Past_

Shikamaru stood in front of Tsunade's desk, wearing a chuunin's jacket that hadn't even been broken in yet. Sakura sat to one side. "About an hour ago," Tsunade said, "Uzumaki Naruto left the village on foot, attempting to chase Uchiha Sasuke, who left last night to defect to Hidden Sound." Typically, Shikamaru didn't look surprised, only mildly irritated. "I want you to lead a team to catch him."

"I'll need a team of chuunins," Shikamaru said evenly. "Iruka-sensei from the academy, if you can spare him, and at least one expert tracker."

"There's no chuunins to give you," the Hokage said. "Gather a team of exceptional genins, and leave in an hour."

Shikamaru looked at her for a moment. "How troublesome," he said finally. "I want her, then." He was pointing at Sakura, to her surprise.

"You're sure?" Tsunade asked. Sakura's eyes were visibly red and puffy, and her hands were trembling.

"If I can't have her, I refuse the mission," Shikamaru said. Sakura blinked.

"Fine," Tsunade said. "Any more questions?"

"Is Rock Lee fit for duty?" he asked.

"No."

"Damn. All right, I've got some other ideas. Come on, Sakura." He bowed to Tsunade and left.

They got Kiba and Chouji out of bed. Kiba made sense, as he was probably the best tracker among the genins. As for Chouji, Shikamaru said, "I've worked with him before. We get along okay." They both stared at Sakura as Shikamaru told them about the mission. She was wondering herself why the chuunin wanted her.

"Get some supply packs, Sakura, and meet us at the north gate," he ordered, as they were leaving Chouji's.

"Um, sure. Four of them?"

"Five. I'm hoping we'll pick up another genin before we have to leave." She nodded and left. She was fast getting the supplies - she remembered from the academy exactly where to go and what to sign. When she caught up, she found the three boys talking to Neji. He'd apparently found Lee outside town, and had been helping him get back. Sakura came to a stop behind Kiba.

Neji raised an eyebrow at her. "She's coming?" he asked. Kiba and Chouji hadn't asked that out loud.

"She's an expert on the quarry," Shikamaru said. "We won't be able to follow him without her - apparently Naruto's following a trail that doesn't exist, so we have no way to guess which way he'll go."

Neji nodded. Lee looked at her, clearly wondering if he should say something. "Sakura-san." Then he smiled. "Good luck!"

"Thanks." She hugged him, peripherally aware of his goofy smile getting even wider. "You going to be okay getting back home?"

"I'm fine. I found a stick." He held up the impromptu cane, but had to put it back down quickly. She smiled.

"Let's go, Sakura," Shikamaru said. "His lead's only getting longer, and I think the weather's gonna get bad."

"We'll be back before you know it," Kiba said. "I've seen how that idiot moves in the forest."

"Bye, Lee!" she called behind her. "When we get him back, I'll come see how you're doing." And then they were gone.

--

_Present_

"Go with you. I think. . ." Naruto looked at her hopefully. Sasuke just looked at her. "I think all your reasons for going, are reasons for me to stay. I have a place, a family. I fit there. And. . . I'm sorry, Sasuke, but I still wish I could make this better. I don't think I could stand being with you and not trying to help you. Either of you."

Sasuke blinked, in mild surprise. "All right," he said.

"Would you have despised me," Sakura asked, "if I had gone just to be with you?"

"No." He thought about it. "If you had stayed because you were scared, I would."

"Be happy, Sakura-chan," Naruto said. He didn't look happy, himself. "I'll tell you all about it when we get back."

"Hey, Naruto, don't go thinking we hate you because you've got some curse," Kiba said.

"No," Sasuke said, "everyone our age hates him because he's a loudmouth incompetent moron."

"Shut up, bastard! You. . ."

"Naruto," Sakura cut him off. "What is it, though? How did it happen?"

He looked at her for a long moment. "Ask Iruka-sensei when you get back, okay?" he said finally. "Tell him I said he could tell you. I'd rather not see you look at me that way, the way adults do when they recognize me." She took a step back, shocked and confused. "But don't worry about it! I've had it all my life. I'm used to it." He grinned at her, a familiar squinty grin.

"All right." There was an awkward pause. Then Naruto stuck out his hand, to shake. Sakura took it, and it felt warm and dry and _there_, somehow. Of course, a shadow clone would feel real. There had been that argument, though, as if Naruto had ignored Sasuke and then been proved wrong. Laughing suddenly, Sakura pulled him into a hug. Very here. "Naruto, you idiot," she whispered in his ear. "Why _didn't_ you bring two?"

He stepped back, surprised, rubbed the back of his neck, and laughed. The real Sasuke would be nearby, hidden somewhere just out of Neji's range, but Sakura forced herself not to look. "See ya, Sakura-chan," he said. "Bye, guys."

"Good-bye," she said.

"We are coming back, Sakura-chan." Naruto grinned. "I guarantee it."

"Sasuke. . ."

"Save it," he told her. "I don't think things could have turned out much different." She nodded slowly. "And I knew it wasn't you." She blinked. 'The kunai?" he reminded her. "The ANBU had your hair parted wrong."

Naruto snorted. "You're an ass, Sasuke."

"Good luck, you two," Sakura said. Naruto grinned, Sasuke inclined his head slightly, and then they leapt into the dimness of the trees. They were gone.


End file.
